With the school festival about to arrive, the group of Tooru and the Souma has decided to open a position of 'onigiris'. This, along with a round of 'Rich-Poor Man' serves as a bridge to discover more of the feelings of our protagonists. With the jealousy and envy of Yuki and Kyou exposed, we are slowly building more of the interactions of our characters. It will be Tooru's kindness that serves as a balm to the hearts of both boys. The curtain opens, two characters are about to appear, who will these two be? Will we know new members of the zodiac?
First of all, the relationship between Kyou and Yuki is very tense, and basically that's because of jealousy. Each one suffers from insecurities and reflects their weaknesses in the other. From what we could see, each one grew up being compared to the other. Kyou was compared by the adults around them: "the mouse is incredible, the cat on the other hand never had a chance". As for Yuki, it was he himself who made those comparisons. Each one grew up envying the other: skills, personality, relationships. They say that the grass is always greener on the other side. This is a problem of both, and can hardly be overcome, jealousy and envy are not something that only disappears when speaking. Even less taking into account that there are factors such as the insecurities involved. And that affects Yuki more, much more than Kyou.
The biggest source of envy that Yuki experiences towards Kyou is his ability to relate to others. This is a skill that he does not possess, and he does not possess it because he grew up trapped in a golden cage. The reason for this is because: 'he is special'. Yuki feels small next to Kyou, although this usually is something anxious when dealing with people, it is enough that he gets accustomed so that all his anxiety disappears and others are attracted to him; something that Yuki is not able to achieve. It may be that he attracts people from the beginning, but he is not able to open up to them. The wound in his heart, product of losing his first friends, and his constant self-comparison with Kyou do not let him build relationships with others. It is frightening not to be accepted being oneself.
The entire complex of Yuki to Kyou is based on what he admires about it. In Yuki's eyes, Kyou can be stubborn, stupid and troublesome, but he's also sincere. Something he considers is not, and perhaps never has been, nor will it be. This is an important moment because Yuki for the first time opens up to someone to talk about his insecurity. And he really chose the best person to do it, Tooru. She is someone who would never judge him, on the contrary he would encourage him. He was even able to make Yuki see that kindness is not something that has only one form. Kindness is something much more complex, difficult to interpret most of the time. Of course, that includes your own kindness, open moments in which we could confuse it with hypocrisy.
Yuki talks about his insecurity in dealing with others, he confesses to being inexperienced and hypocritical in his dealings. However the words of Tooru manage to raise it, the kindness is not equal in all, and that can mean to create many misunderstandings. Honestly, it always seemed to me that Yuki is a hypocritical character, I said it before, I was too late to take care of him. It is complicated not to see him like that, he puts on a mask of 'good boy' before everyone and even then he shows to have another hidden personality. Although Tooru's words also make me reflect, perhaps the actions of others are not as I imagine them. That's the case with Yuki, he's not a hypocrite, he's just someone deeply hurt who tries to protect himself at all costs. But that does not mean that what he does he does because of badness, because deep down he worries about not hurting others.
And speaking of Tooru's lessons, I must confess that I have always loved this: 'jealousy occurs because we can see greatness in others, but not in ourselves'. It is completely true, it is very easy to see the good in others, but to see it in oneself, that is something completely different. Being able to place ourselves in the shoes of others is a human gift, it is called empathy. It means that we can take the pain of others and feel it as our own, we can also do it with joy, and many other emotions. However, there is another perception that is more difficult for us to access. This perception is the opposite of empathy, because it tries to see us through the eyes of others. And as it sounds, it means being able to judge ourselves as someone else. And yes, it's as complicated as it sounds.
So, we all have something that makes us wonderful, but we are not always aware of it. That happens with our trio of protagonists, also Tooru is not at all aware of his wonderful gift. Kyou is a wonderful boy, perhaps temperamental but still noble and with a magnetism that attracts anyone; but he can not see it because he can only see how good Yuki is and how good everything is. The same goes for Yuki, he is kind, good and almost perfect; however he blinds himself to it by only seeing how open and magnetic Kyou is. Both are unable to see the good in them because they are seeing the good in someone else. But not only the good, but what they long to be. Jealousy and envy are the emotions that prevent both from seeing their own backs.
Concluding the chapter was, above all, a guide to learn more about the personalities of our boys, especially Yuki. In fact I believe that all real weight falls on him, not only narratively but also visually. The scene on the way home, back from Tooru's work, is what leads me to think like that. I love the play of light and shadow used during this scene, it makes it feel more personal. In addition the visual detail is incredible, notice the fusion of the narration with what they present to us. Yuki expresses himself about having grown confined in the Souma house and his desire to liberate. Everything so that in the end he himself realizes that he has not managed to escape from that prison. All this at the same time that your walk is connected with the bars of the bridge, giving the best analogy plane.
Finally, we are closing this. Not without reminding them that the next chapter will be in charge of Miyu Hikari, I will return for the fifth. Now, tell me: What do you think of this episode? Is it possible to spend our life without being able to see our 'pickled plum? What do you think we have to expect from the festival that is to come?
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